socialjusticewankers:

a man types his facebook status.

"Women who participate in No Shave November will have to participate in No D December!"

fast forward days later. men everywhere get up to go to the bathroom. they pull down their pants, look down, and scream.

their penises have all vanished.

it is December 1. 

No D December has begun.

(Source: gostpayter)

killthepariah:

"u still want me right"

killthepariah:

"u still want me right"

(Source: tastefullyoffensive)

Shout out to my neighbors who have 3 cars and never pull up so that I get yelled at when I can’t park in between them

overlypolitebisexual:

cat people: dogs are cool too
dog people: cats don’t feel love did you know a cat once MURDERED my MOTHER

placatory:

When you order something online and it finally comes

image

aflockofseagulls:

let’s play a game called “how much of this homework can i do in school tomorrow”

(Source: armisael)

sockleton:

*watches a show* yooooooo

*looks at fandom* noooooo.

scruffyqueer:

why get jealous of your best friend for being ridiculously talented when you can just secondhand brag about them instead???

gayprobably:

r u a cigarette bc u got a hot butt